


Where Have You Been All My 9 Lives?

by EzzyDean



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-10
Updated: 2015-05-26
Packaged: 2018-03-29 23:26:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3914593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EzzyDean/pseuds/EzzyDean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yamaguchi Tadashi.  So many random talents.  So little time to show them all off.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> (aka the drabble that started because I headcanoned that Yamaguchi is the one from Karasuno's team who can pick locks and has a ton of random talents but Tony decided Daichi told him he couldn't use them until college. Also because I need smooth!Yamaguchi and flustered!Kuroo.)

“Where have you been all my life?”

As far as pick up lines go that was not exactly top ten on the list of ones Tadashi has heard.  He’s about to tell the man leaning against the bar, and into his space, as much when he turns and gets an eyeful of ridiculously familiar bedhead.  There’s a slight flush on the man’s cheeks that only accentuates his sharp gaze and unfairly attractive grin.  A grin that gets even wider when he realizes Tadashi is checking him out instead of simply brushing him off.

“Right in front of your face,” Tadashi replies with a smile of his own.

“I find that hard to believe.  Surely I’d remember an angel with constellations of freckles on his skin and a smile like yours.”  He doesn’t even try to get a handle on the blush that crosses his own cheeks as he shakes his head.  Why should he even try?  He only had  _ the biggest _ crush on Kuroo back in his first year of high school.  Which Tsukki relentlessly teased him about for about a week until Yamaguchi accidentally served a volleyball into his face mid-tease one day.  “Can I buy you your next drink?”  Tadashi simply nods and slips out his phone, sending a text to his best friend as Kuroo leans across the bar and signals to the bartender.

**_ Guess who is flirting with me at the bar. _ **

_ I don’t feel like guessing.  Who? _

**_ Kuroo Tetsurou. _ **

_ Seriously? _

_ Why? _

Tadashi snickers a little.  If he didn’t know Tsukki so well he’d probably be offended.  

**_ I don’t know.  I don’t think he remembers me. _ **

**_ He also has really crappy pick up lines like “where have you been all my life?” _ **

_ Does that really surprise you?  He and Bokuto had entire conversations by hooting at each other. _

_ At least make him work for it a little. _

_ And don’t tell me any details. _

He takes the glass Kuroo hands him and lets him guide him to a table in the corner.

“Let’s play a game,” Kuroo murmurs and leans in close, breath warm against Tadashi’s cheek, “how about for each freckle you have, you get a kiss from me?”

He’s sending Tadashi a look that probably weakened the knees of anyone he turned it on and, a couple years ago, Tadashi would have absolutely melted to be on the receiving end of that look.  But Tadashi is not the lanky fifteen year old he used to be.  He’s not the unsure sidekick to Tsukki’s sharp tongue and withering glare.

He hums and tilts his head, smiling at the way Kuroo’s eyes zero in on the long stretch of his neck and he licks his lips, like he can’t wait to taste Tadashi’s skin.

“While that does sound like an interesting game, I’m afraid you’ll have to try harder than that to get into my pants, Kuroo-san.”  He drops his chin into his hand and gives Kuroo a wink when his eyes snap up to meet Tadashi’s and his mouth drops open in surprise.

Kuroo appears shocked but it doesn’t take him long to recover.  He chuckles and raises an eyebrow at Tadashi.

“Oho my reputation precedes me does it?”

“Something like that,” Tadashi murmurs and Kuroo leans in close again to hear him better.  “Let’s just say you’re a memorable person.”

 

 

Tadashi had taken pity on Kuroo somewhere between his second drink and third shot - all happily bought by Kuroo - and had directed him away from his circling thoughts about how Tadashi knew him and instead led him to the dance floor in the corner of the bar.

“Yama-chan,” Kuroo whines and leans his head heavily against Tadashi’s shoulder, “let’s do another shot.”

Tadashi laughs.  One of the bartenders had fondly called Tadashi “Yama-chan” when he and Kuroo when up for their second shot.  Since he had yet to give Kuroo a proper name to call him Kuroo had leapt at it.  Calling him Yama-chan over and over.  Tadashi assumed it was to try and get him irritated enough to tell Kuroo his actual name.  Instead it just made Kuroo even more endearing somehow.

“Kuroo-san,” Tadashi murmurs back, lips brushing Kuroo’s ear, one hand resting on his waist and the other wrapped around Kuroo’s neck, “you don’t want to get so drunk you forget tonight do you?”  Kuroo sucks in a sharp breath when Tadashi’s fingers slip under his shirt and lets out a breathy almost-whimper when Tadashi keeps talking.  “I’m not strong enough to carry you back to my place either so you’ll have to stay sober enough for the trip.”

“You feel pretty strong to me,” Kuroo mutters and slides both his hands up the back of Tadashi’s shirt, fingers trailing over the muscles of his shoulders and back down to his waist, nails dragging lightly, and Tadashi hums.

“Wouldn’t you rather I keep up my strength for when we get back though?”

There’s that look again.  That smile that makes his knees wobbly and coils in his chest somewhere and as he gives Kuroo a smile of his own he can feel his nerves tingling, anticipation singing in his veins as Kuroo leans in and kisses him.

\--

Tetsurou wakes up and immediately wishes he hadn’t yet.  His mouth tastes like the inside of a dumpster smells, his eyelids weigh about a ton each and they seem to be made of sandpaper.  He remembers the night before, which is a very nice thing.  He remembers laughing and chasing Yama-chan down the sidewalk from the bar.  He remembers pressing Yama-chan into a dark corner about halfway back and leaving a hickey or two on his neck.  He remembers being pressed against the brightly lit front door of Yama-chan’s apartment and being marked up in return.

He shifts a little, lower back twinging, and he groans.  He  definitely remembers that part of the night.  Face pressed into the mattress with Yama-chan draped against his back, arms bracketing Tetsurou’s own, their fingers twined together.  

He wants to get a better look at the freckled face, hoping that maybe in slumber he can finally put a name to the face that had felt familiar from the moment that he had seen Yama-chan’s smile.  He pulls away and yelps in surprise as he flails and hits the floor.  Yama-chan had followed his movements and accidentally pushed him off the bed, the edge of which he had apparently been barely laying on.

The freckled face - flushed with sleep and unfairly attractive in the morning light - peeks over the edge and Tetsurou groans again.

“Sorry, Kuroo,” floats down to him among the dust motes, not sounding the least bit sorry at all, in fact it sounds rather amused and teasing, and he freezes as a voice from his memory echoes in his sleepy, mildly hungover mind.

_ "Sorry, Tsukki!”  The voice floats across the gym and Tetsurou watches with amusement as Tsukishima makes his usual ‘tch’ noise and rolls his eyes. _

“Are you okay, Kuroo-san?”  The voice is adorably rough with sleep but the smile Tetsurou can see on that freckled face is all kinds of sly.  The kind of sly  _ he _ used to employ in high school.  The kind of sly he had seen in Tsukishima’s eyes as his freckled best friend - Yamaguchi, his brain helpfully, and belatedly, finally supplies - observed matches from the sidelines.  The smooth raise of an eyebrow when Tetsurou simply stares up at him confirms it; that is such a Tsukishima move that it could only have been imitated so naturally by someone who had spent a lot of time with him.

“Tsukishima is going to kill me.”

The laughter that surrounds him sounds far too happy and amused.

“Well how about we go and get breakfast together so you die with a full stomach and not an empty one?”  Yama-chan - Yamaguchi he reminds himself - slides out of bed with much more grace than Tetsurou had managed and offers him a hand up.  “If you’d like I can break the news to Tsukki.”

His hand is warm where it’s still wrapped around his wrist and he wants to say yes, to tell him be the one to inform Tsukishima who had just slept with his best friend, but Yamaguchi looks far too amused by the thought of doing it and Tetsurou is a little afraid to find out why.

\--

**_!!  _ **

**_ Guess what? _ **

_ You actually did it.  Didn’t you? _

**_ Yes.  A few times. _ **

**_ Don’t worry I made him ‘work for it’ _ **

**_ In fact... _ **

_ NO DETAILS _

**_ sorry Tsukki :3 _ **

_ oh god.  he infected you with cat germs _

**_ More like I infected him… _ **

_ YAMAGUCHI TADASHI NO.  We have a deal about this.  No details. _

**_ :3c _ **

_ I have a feeling this was a very big mistake.  For me. _

 


	2. Chapter 2

Kei doesn’t even want to check his phone.  Even if the notification light has been blinking for nearly two hours.  He can see it just out of the corner of his eye.

Blink.

Blink.

Blink.

He already knows who it’s going to be.  He had set Kuroo’s notification to a blinking red light months ago when he and Yamaguchi had started dating and Kuroo had started texting him all the time.  It was bad enough to get borderline disturbing texts from Yamaguchi about the things he and Kuroo got up to together.  But Yamaguchi knew when to tease and when Kei was seriously getting tired of dealing with it and he walked that thin line between the two with ease.  Kuroo… not so much.

Back in high school he had initially seen Kuroo Tetsurou as a kind of wrecking ball: smashing through his defenses and thoughts and opinions without a care in the world about the carnage and destruction he left behind.

By the time he graduated high school himself he had come to see Kuroo as more of a laser guided missle dead-set on striking with pinpoint precision.  Laser guided, hence the blinking red light of doom.

Kei groans and pushes himself up from his bed to grab his phone off his desk.  He was going to regret this but it’s not like he was really concentrating on his book anymore.

_ Did you know Tadashi is super flexible?  Like…. SUPER flexible? _

Sometimes Kei wishes he was still nine years old because that message would have a totally different meaning and he wouldn’t be debating the merits of smashing his head into his desk to get certain images out of his head.

_ And super bossy.  Which is…. nice. _

Kei pinches the bridge of his nose and takes a very deep breath.  He backs out of the conversation and scrolls through his contacts.  He isn’t even entirely sure if he’ll get an answer but he pulls up a new conversation and sends off a text anyway.

He was getting desperate.

Desperate enough to send a text to someone he hadn’t even seen since his sometime halfway through his third year of high school and honestly can’t remember ever speaking to outside of volleyball games.  Even having his number in his phone is kind of a fluke.

**_ Is there some secret to dealing with Kuroo for extended periods of time? _ **

It takes surprisingly little time to get a response.

_ ignore him?  it works for me most of the time. _

**_ That worked until he discovered where I live and stole my spare key from Yamaguchi.  Now if I don’t answer he hunts me down after a day and then it gets worse. _ **

_ （−＿−）  how much worse? _

**_ I woke up two weeks ago to him sitting on my bed next to me, under my blankets, eating the most atrocious smelling take out I’ve ever smelled.  My room still kind of smells like it. _ **

**_ He was wearing one of my shirts and proceeded to tell me every detail of their last date including what Yamaguchi’s mouth tasted like. _ **

_ that’s… disturbing. _

Kei snorts at the message because that was an understatement.  He had learned more about his best friend than he had ever wanted to know in the months Yamaguchi and Kuroo had been dating.  Things no best friend  needs to know and he knows far too much about Kuroo’s kinks than he ever imagined he’d know.  All because Kuroo is an asshole and enjoys making Kei’s life difficult.

Why he decides to dump this on Kei and not his own best friend is beyond him.

**_ Does he tell you this kind of stuff? _ **

_ to be honest 90% of what kuroo says is filtered out before i actually hear it _

_ i use his tone of voice usually when deciding when to listen to him _

\--

For as detached as Kei remembers him being back in high school Kenma actually isn’t too horrible to talk to.  They’re not best friends overnight or anything but it is nice to have someone to complain about Kuroo to who agrees that the other guy can be a pain sometimes.  Plus he occasionally has some interesting music suggestions and is the only person Kei has found to be a serious challenge to him in Tetris.

In fact he’s one of the few people who regularly manages to kick his ass at Tetris.  He frowns down at his game screen and the Game Over message blinking up at him before tossing the handheld onto his bed and leaning back in his desk chair.  He snags his phone, ignoring the blinking red light and the messages waiting - Yamaguchi and Kuroo had their six month anniversary last night and he does  not want to know the details of that, and opens his conversation with Kenma.

**_ Sometimes I just wish I had some way to get back at him.  But it’s not like I can go date  _ ** _ his  _ **_ best friend and shove gross details into  _ ** _ his  _ **_ face about it. _ **

Kei freezes with his finger still over the send icon when what he typed out registers.  They’ve been texting long enough now that he rarely stopped to filter his thoughts anymore; Kenma had never seemed to mind his bluntness no matter who or what they were talking about after all.  Kenma doesn’t respond right away and after a couple of minutes of staring down at his darkened screen Kei shoves his phone under his pillow, face down for good measure, and goes to find something to snack on.  

It’s not like he was embarrassed by what he said or anything.  Not really.  But that doesn’t stop the weird fluttering in his stomach when he thinks about what he sent as he digs out a handful of hard candies and unwraps them one by one and pops them in his mouth.

The cellophane crinkles in his fingers because he can’t stop playing with the little rectangles as he stares out his window.

He’s not embarrassed though.  He’s not.  

But now that he’s said it he can’t stop thinking about it because technically he  could  date Kuroo’s best friend.  It’s not like Kuroo could stop him or anything.  But he’s not sure what they would even do.  Dating had never been high on Kei’s list of priorities after all.  Would Kenma even want to date him?  Why was he even thinking about this?

He growls at his own stupid thoughts and stomps back to his room, yanking his phone out from under his pillow with a scowl because he was not some love struck teenager or something.  God he was being ridiculous.  Shoving his phone under his pillow?  How childish.

The notification light is blinking purple - the color he changed it to when he found out it was Kenma’s favorite - and he turns on his screen warily.

_ well you could date me but i don’t know that i’d be interested in doing anything that would result in “gross details” to rub in his face _

_ though you could probably bore him to sleep talking about playing video games with me _

\--

Three weeks later Kei finds himself trudging down the sidewalk on his way to “an awesome double date” with Yamaguchi and Kuroo.  Once he found out Kei and Kenma went on a date - really it was a trip to a local shop that sold a bunch of used games and books and that sort of thing and they picked up some stuff to occupy themselves with - Kuroo had insisted the four of them get together because “what’s better than best friends dating best friends and hanging out?”

Kei pauses at the street corner and adjusts the weight on his back slightly.  He ignores the occasional strange look he gets - he’s used to strange looks thanks to being very tall and very blonde at a young age - and sets off across the street.  The park they were meeting at was a couple blocks away still.  Kenma hums along to the music of his game and Kei smiles.  He can tell that Kenma’s in the middle of one of the harder boss battles of the section of the game he’s on and Kei can practically see his eyes narrowing slightly as he concentrates on the small screen in the bright sun even without looking at him.

Twin cries of “Tsukki!” as he nears the park make him shake his head.

“Aw why don’t you carry me like that, Tadashi?”  Kuroo croons and chuckles as Kei and Kenma draw near.

“Because you’re too big.”

“That’s not what you were saying last night.”  Yamaguchi’s face flushes and Kuroo gives him a wink as Kei sighs.

“Why did we think this was a good idea?”

Kenma drops his arms down on either side of Kei’s head and props his chin on Kei’s shoulder.  “We didn’t.  It’s a horrible idea.”  The handheld console fills Kei’s vision as Yamaguchi leans in to whisper something in Kuroo’s ear.  He has just enough time to see Kuroo’s face turning red before his eyes focus in on the screen in front of him.  “What should I use to beat the boss?”

Kei glances through the items and moves on the screen.  He tightens one arm on Kenma’s leg and feels him tighten his legs against his sides so that Kei can reach up and point out a combo without dropping him.  Kenma hums in consideration and sits back up, holding the console above Kei’s head and going back to his battle.

The sound of a camera shutter fills the air and Kei looks up to glare at Kuroo.

“You two are so cute,” he coos and focuses on his screen.  “I have to show everyone.”

Kei feels that distinct urge to smack his head repeatedly into a solid object that often occurs when he tries to deal with Kuroo.  He’s distracted from it, however, when Kenma drops his arms back down and bumps his head against the side of Kei’s.

“Thank you,” he murmurs as Kuroo giggles and Yamaguchi rolls his eyes and pulls his boyfriend down the sidewalk.

“Anytime,” Kei replies as he tightens his grip on his own boyfriend’s legs and follows behind them.

 

Kei refuses to check his phone.  The photo Kuroo tagged them in has gotten dozens of responses already and Kei doesn’t really feel like seeing any more comments about Kuroo’s “kitten of a best friend and his boyfriend.”  Plus he’d much rather lay here with Kenma using him as a pillow while they play Tetris than get up and grab his phone.


End file.
